THE HARD LESSONS ON LOVE AND MEN

THE HARD LESSONS ON LOVE AND MEN

• A man won't let go if he really loves you. Do not hold on to someone who has let go of you. He does not love you and does not value having you. Believe me, he will not let go if he really loves you. There is another reason he is not willing to tell.
• Do not look for reasons why he ended the relationship. There is only one reason why he ended your relationship. He just does not love you. Do not waste your time thinking of reasons or what you should have done. Move on and be open to a man who will truly love you.
• Do not get hung up on your past. Do not nag or distrust your current boyfriend just because your ex hurt you. Do not treat him or the relationship the same way. Do not compare. He will not react the same way as your ex. Do not be worried that your simple mistakes will cause him to look for another girl. What happened with your ex was not your fault. It was not because you didn't guard him enough or you didn't make him happy enough.
• Do not look into images. How many times have you met a girl who didn't have the best image in school or at the office, but you get to know the girl and found out she was actually extremely nice? Do not rely on images. Oftentimes, it is far from reality. Do not fear men just because your "supposedly" perfect ex-boyfriend mistreated you.
• Always have your own set of rules. Set your limits on how far you'd go for a guy. It's perfectly ok to give and do everything as long as it's worth it. And it's worth it if the guy is treating you right.
• Do not be scared to lose him. Don't be scared that he'll break up with you. Once you are afraid of losing him, you easily can be taken advantage. Be strong and if something is unacceptable, do not accept it and speak up.
• Avoid calling your guy. It's a guy thing. The relationship will definitely be better if it's the guy who's calling, not the girl. He will get tired of you if you keep on calling. He will lose interest and challenge. More so, he will get annoyed. But it's a girl thing also that your fingers get too itchy until you dial his number. But avoid as much as possible. Call only if really needed (like checking if your suspicions are reasonable).
• There is a guy who will value you. There is a guy out there who can make you feel valued, appreciated, and loved. And I mean, not just during your first few weeks together. So don't lose hope. Don't settle for a lesbian if you are not attracted to women. There is a man out there who can love you like a girl can. Also, do not believe him when he says it's just the way he really is. He's not the sweet or expressive-type. Remember during your first few weeks together? Where has that sweet guy gone? He simply is not that into you anymore.
• Always be the only one, no matter what. Do not ever fall for a guy who has another girl, be it his wife, girlfriend, or any girl that he says he just can't get rid of for whatever reason. If you truly believe that he loves you and for some reason, he can't leave or let go of another girl, then you are no different from any ordinary mistress.
• He must respect you. No matter how long the relationship has been, he should always show respect towards you.
• If he fooled you, end it. Philandering once is enough. You can never trust nor respect the person again.
• Never start a relationship the wrong way. Do not steal another girl's man, for whatever reason. Nor should you enter a relationship for the wrong reasons (loneliness, on the rebound, getting back at your ex, man-dependency, etc.) it is bound not to last. You will only end up wasting more years of your life.
• Do not force yourself into a relationship. Do not get into a relationship just because your friends are getting impatient with your dating escapades and the one hasn't come yet. Do not choose who to say yes to based on superficial things like money, looks, cars, etc. If you are even thinking of these things, you have not fallen in love yet.
• Do not settle. If you are not happy anymore with your relationship, break up instantly. He will not stay with you forever no matter how upright he might seem to be. Eventually, he will also want love and happiness in his life.
• A relationship has to have love. Love is the only thing that will push you to give your efforts into making the relationship work. And believe me, keeping a relationship requires genuine efforts of both parties.
• Don't be afraid to be single. It's fun to be single, try it. You can go out whenever and wherever you want. You are free. You can date whomever you want and you get to go out for free! Do not get a boyfriend just for the sake of having one. Do not settle.
• Be a good girl. Be a good girl to attract a good guy. Enter the relationship with sincere intentions. Take the guy and the relationship seriously with the plan of spending the rest of your life with that person (of course, this is after you had your bit of fun in your younger years) . If you compare your flings from your real relationships, you will know that the latter makes you happier and more fulfilled.
• Love without limits. Whether you loved and gave everything or loved but held out for some things, if the relationship ends, you still get hurt. But if you gave your everything, you were happy and you could say that it was worth it. If you didn't give your all, you get hurt for nothing.
• You will get over him. Love is over-stated. Love eventually ends and you are free to love another.
• Be the one. Act like you are the one. Don't be a nagger. Don't hinder his gimmicks. Don't give in to him too easily. Make him treat you as important. Don't be easy. Don't be like every other girl he had in his life.

Who stole my magic? A guide in surviving a breakup

Who stole my magic?

A guide in surviving a Breakup

Credits for Ms. Jenny Manuel

My attention caught when I talk to one of my friends who is having a tragic and drastic what-so-ever circumstances. Hehehe.. Kidding aside, she is now on the process of mending her broken heart. What a tragedy? Isn’t it? Maybe or not maybe, the hardest thing to do in a broken relationship is merely acceptance, moving on and letting go of the painful experience.

It happened to almost everyone — a breakup that’s seemingly impossible to recover from. Whether you’ve been together to months or ten years too long, there’s a post-relationship limbo you need to survive in order to GET ON w/ your LIFE…

The constant questioning. “WHY? WHY? WHY?

The every hour, on-the-hour SOBFEST until your tear ducts run dry.

The urge to call him at three in the morning.

The urge to call him and say nothing (all you want to hear is his voice.. sob!)

The zero-energy days when you just want to stay in bed.

The DEPRESSION DIET when you can’t eat anything.

The absolute loss of SELF-ESTEEM.

Every one of us has a story to tell, but everyone agrees --- sure, it’s hard to do but it’s definitely NOT IMPOSSIBLE TO OVERCOME. And it all begins knowing that you will have FUN again.

BROKEN? Why not try to be WHOLE AGAIN?

Listen to me as I shared the most promising way of showing you can. From a help of a very reliable book which I always read from time to time until my HEART HEALED from the emptiness, despair and drastic feelings of yesterday. Come with me, as we take journey together on becoming a BETTER person, full of positivity. *Sounds good*.

I do believe that there is no such rule or even steps on how to mend a broken heart, some people might end up suicidal because of having such despair, abandonment of the heart. But we can all SURVIVE!!! Take my hand and I will show you how…

First day of the breakup, what have you done to yourself? Looking ugly and desperate? Uhm, you are... Look at those eye bags in the eyes, they look like you don’t sleep over the week or even months. You looked an ugly stick, an ugly stick with torn on it. What did you do? CRY... CRY over and OVER AGAIN until you feel dehydrated of releasing that excess water in your body. Hahaha! It’s okay to cry! REMEMBER: DON’T EVER BE SORRY FOR BEING SAD AND DON’T APOLOGISE FOR CRYING. WHAT ARE YOU GOING THROUGH IS COMPLETELY NORMAL AND HEALTHY. Wipe those tears away. CRY then CRY and CRY again. It helps you release the unhealthy feelings.

DON”T BOTHER ASKING WHY. Asking someone to explain why they don’t love you. Or won’t love you or can’t love you is like asking someone to explain why the wind blows. Everyone has reasons “why” it has to come up to an end. Relationships end and sometimes for reasons not immediately comprehensible. And yet, quite naturally, the heartbroken often demand to know “why”. Instead of asking “why”, it is much wiser to VIEW the LOVE as a GIFT. The fact that we can love and do love is the most AMAZING gift of all. And even if unopened present, appreciate that you have within you the POWER, the ABILITY and the COURAGE and that in itself makes you TRULY SPECIAL.

Some people want to wallow in the drama of heartbreak. If wallowing in GRIEF and SELF-PITY is what turns you on, --then fine. You’re just making your life MISERABLE!!! Yes, much worst after the break-up! WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T LISTEN TO ANY SAD SONGS OR MUSIC. IT WILL ONLY MAKE YOU FEEL WORST. I know that it’s difficult not to be moved or saddened by music we hear. So many songs about love and tragedy about love, and right after the breakup it might seem like every song you hear on the radio was written with your and your travails in mind. But the songs will not always be a love song. Listening to upbeat music actually will feel you better. Just as forcing yourself to SMILE automatically puts you in a better mood, POSITIVE music can immediately affect your state of mind.

A difficult breakup is very bruising to one’s ego. Immediately after the breakup, you will found it hard to summon the energy to GET OUT there and party. Treat your self with a total makeover. Uhm, don’t think of it as a change but as an ENHANCEMENT. BEAUTY MAY ONLY BE SKIN DEEP AND TRUE BEAUTY MIGHT LIE IN THE SOUL, BUT IT DOESN’T HURT TO HAVE YOUR OUTSIDES LOOKING GOOD WHEN YOUR INSIDES ARE BADLY BRUISED.

The hardest part is DON’T BE BITTER. Life is too short to be angry and cynical. Such negative emotions have a habit of making people seem hard and unattractive. Tempting as it may be to tell the whole world about the EVIL BEAST who broke your heart, focus instead on al things positive. If people ask you what happened, simply THANK them for their interest and concern but tell them that you would rather not talk about it.

Removing yourself from your setting or the scene of your heartbreak, so to speak, is ONE of the most EFFECTIVE ways to dull the pain. TRAVEL, GO SOMEWHERE YOU’VE NEVER BEEN. YOU NEED TO GET AWAY FROM YOUR IMMEDIATE SURROUNDINGS AND REALIZE THAT THERE IS A HUGE WORLD OUT THERE WITH ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES AND BILLIONS OF PEOPLE THAT YOU’VE NEVER MET. There is something magical about travel; when done properly it can lead you to discovering other worlds, experiencing unique cultures and meeting new people.

Arrange you home with another style preferably your room. WHEN YOU LOCK YOURSELF IN YOUR ROOM – MISERABLE AND WEEPY – THE SPACE PICKS UP THE NEGATIVE ENERGY AND YOUR ROOM BECOMES A DEPRESSING PLACE TO BE. YOU NEED TO LET OUT THE SADNESS AND ALLOW SOME NEW AIR IN.

You tried to block all the thoughts from your head – meditation, yoga, etc. – only to find out that the more I tried to block a thought – the deeper it seems to delve into your memory. Trying to prevent yourself from thinking about something is pointless – the act of thinking up ways to not think of something means you are, in effect, still thinking about it. It’s self-defeating exercise because the more you think about something the stronger it takes hold of you. FIND A NEW PASSION. If you were filled your head with other thought you would, quite simply, forget to think about the ex.

Now, it’s time for you to wholly honest with yourself. Our choice of relationship can reveal a lot about how much we love and respect ourselves. All too often we found ourselves in relationships for all the wrong reasons. Too often refusal to be totally honest about a relationship results in difficulty in letting go. Moved away from your disappointment and looked at the relationship in its entirety. SOMETIMES IF YOU ARE HAVING DIFFICULTY COMING TO TERMS WITH SOMETHING, ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS TO TAKE A STEP BACK AND LOOK AT THE BIGGER PICTURE.

BEING SINGLE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE ABOUT BEING ALONE. It may sounds completely obvious, but the ability to function alone, and no longer as part of a couple, doesn’t automatically hit you, especially if you’ve been part of a couple for months or years. In much the same way that you committed to involve yourself in new activities and explore new places, now is the time for you to discover new people and re-discover old ones.

We all have to accept and face reality that it will eventually end and never last. All we have to do is to look at the brighter side and continue our journey in life...

**Thank you for the contribution of Miss Jenny.

HOPE THIS MIGHT HELP YOU as it helped me…